tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30681497307728113922024-03-08T14:53:49.886+08:00Blxcksheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-85200866066863337512020-07-26T02:35:00.001+08:002020-07-26T02:35:01.068+08:00Alone<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
All my life, i've been trying to make people like me, do things so that they'll like me, i'm willing to sacrifice myself for others because i hope they'll stay or they will be there in return. I guess i should stop and focus on myself. The fear of me being alone scared me, but i think it's time to face it. For real. </div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-28009670112324557632020-07-17T03:56:00.002+08:002020-07-17T03:56:58.589+08:00Kalau saya takde;<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Dunia pasti lebih indah<br />
Kamu semua pasti lebih bahagia</div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-77441413150651747592020-05-07T01:25:00.001+08:002020-05-07T01:25:39.709+08:00Random thoughts that come to my mind<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I just wanna share my thoughts and also my conversation with my partner today. He called me after 3 days, he's been so busy for the past few days and we're on our rough time. Can't blame my menstruation for this. I guess this is the part of growing up. Few mins before we ended the call, i looked at him, we both quiet and not saying anything. Then i said, 'i'm sorry'. He asked me 'why?' I told him 'because you know me right now. We should be happy before be in a relationship instead of being in a relationship to find happiness. It's all wrong.' - it's not your responsible to make me happy. I should make myself happy. Because of i'm not happy with myself, i became extra sensitive and being needy most of the time. I wish i'm simple and not overthink about everything. <div>
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I'm so grateful to have him. He's seen my worst. But that's not really the worst. I'm afraid of me being myself but what if he gets tired of it. I might be cheerful at times but other time i might always wanting to have my own space and thinking about my life. And there'll be times i need him a little bit more. I hope he will support me through my ups and downs. I won't expect him to be there to cheer me up. But i hope he will support me to be better and trust my capabilities. I know it's a long process and takes a lot of time and effort. I wish he will bear all those days when it's hard for us. I wish to do the same for him as well. I hope i'm not being selfish this time around because for the first time in my life, i want something more than myself. I pray a little harder. I told Him about my partner. When days are nice and when days were kinda rough. I know He will help me because He knows the best.</div>
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And here goes to my past relationships, i know most of the time i was being needy and selfish. It must has been hard for them to deal with me. I was young and immature. Expecting others to make me feel better when i was mad or had my mental breakdown. Though, it didn't end up well. Mostly because of my temper and inconsideration. But all those things made me who i am today. I look back and realised why it didn't end up well. I learnt from it. I started to control my temper and thoughts. Even though it's not fully berjaya laa i would say, but i would to take things at slower phase tapi maintain it. But at the same time, it scares me juga like when things jadi i rasa did i make the same thing again? Am i going back to my old self. I just hope i will be better each day.</div>
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Apart from that, i always pray that Allah will make myself a better person. Because i know kalau i jaga hubungan dengan Dia, buat apa Dia suruh everything will fall into their own places. So just keep on doa and do the good deeds. Biar sikit asalkan istiqomah. Stay home and stay safe everyone, xx sheda</div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-66546150363536510382020-04-30T10:02:00.001+08:002020-04-30T10:05:31.802+08:00Ramadhan Kareem!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Assalamualaikum and hi everyone or anyone?<br />
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Alhamdulillah dapat merasa another Ramadhan. I feel so lucky. Hehehe. Okay laa, just nak let it out apa i rasa. I feel really gloomy honestly, i feel burden and my heart feels so heavy. Ya Allah, i just hope all these feelings will end soon. I tengok this one ceramah by Ustaz Ahmad Dusuki with Prof. Muhaya, Prof said kalau nak move forward sayangi diri sendiri and maafkan diri sendiri. Look in the mirror and admit what you've done and forgive yourself. I rasa macam terkesan dengan apa dia cakap. I haven't love myself all these while. I hurt myself. I look in the mirror and i cried because why did i hurt myself just because i feel sad? I know i should let the emotions with the situation at the moment but i shouldn't treat myself like that, because no one else will be there for me unless myself. This Ramadhan so far has made realise so many things yang i took for granted or things yang i patut buat dari awal lagi.<br />
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I always wanted to feel loved by someone. I always wanted to be heard or appreciated. But then i realised yang as much as we want it, i shouldn't have any expectation for those things. Bila expectation kita tu tak dapat, kita sedih and akan tertanya kenapa orang tak nampak or faham kita. So Prof said, ingat 7S ni, syukur, sabar, sayang, sedar diri, sedekah, sillaturrahim and another one i tak dapat. Dengan tu kita akan rasa content and selalu optimistic. Ingat yang Allah selalu ada. Allah yang paling sayang kita. This thing i write it here just a reminder for myself yang i should move forward, feel content and be happy. I have Him and my family.<br />
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Since everyone is in a RMO, i would like to suggest you guys to start do a lot or reading and listen to any podcast or ceramah online. Let's filled this Ramadhan with a lot of good deeds. Stay safe and stay at home since i don't think this COVID-19 will end anytime soon until they find the vaccine and cure to it. So wash your hands and do social distancing.<br />
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Anyway, if anyone by chance read this and know me. I wanna say sorry if saya ada salah silap. Kalau ada nak settle sila pm tepi. hiks. I love you guys so much. xx, sheda<br />
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-53939326582963760582020-03-16T02:22:00.000+08:002020-05-07T01:46:42.952+08:00what happened to me?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
hello, it is has been more than a year i since my last post. There's so many things had happened. I'm done with my final exam last July. Alhamdulillah, i passed my exams and currently doing my internship for another few months till I'll be back for good in Malaysia.<br />
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My personal life has been good so far. I'm with someone that love me unconditionally and always make me feel i can be better everyday. Thanks to him, i appreciate myself more and see things differently. I love you sayaaangg. Okay that's all for now. Adios.</div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-50297532015939708342018-09-23T03:37:00.002+08:002018-09-23T03:46:29.059+08:00Mak<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have this strong attachment with my mom. As the last child in the family of course laa i rapat gila with my mom. My mom is a housewife. So basically i membesar with my mom around me, she is my first teacher, my first . She doesn't know how to drive, so when i was a kid we used to jalan kaki to go to pasar during weekdays because abah kerja or me and my mom ride a basikal to pasar. Idk how my mom manage bawak i nak basikal. Kiteorang naik basikal yang ada bakul kat depan and i akan duduk kat belakang. It was fun you know when i have those kind of memories with my mom. Then i selalu teman my mom pergi mengaji but i ended up tertidur atas peha dia. So basically ke mana mak i pergi, i will be there. My mom always tried her best to give everything yang i nak masa i kecil dulu. And ingat lagi dulu nearest supermarket was giant at Taman Permata, so dulu nak pergi sana it's either my dad hantar, naik cab or naik bus. So bila my dad busy, kiteorang akan pergi naik bus. Bus tu kiteorang panggil bus hijau. Because it's green in colour. So akan duduk tunggu bus and then turun. Balik usually akan naik cab. But never once my mom mengeluh dia tak reti drive. And masa i kecil i selalu rasa my mom paling trust i, sebab i kalau nak beli barang ke apa, dia lagi percaya i tahu apa dia nak compared to my brother. So kalau dia nak suruh kiteorang beli barang, dia selalu suruh i ikut skali. Sebab my brother ni geli dgn ikan ke ayam. So i lah kena beli.<br />
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Then, this one time, i akan pergi sekolah agama dia hantar. Kiteorang akan jalan kaki together, she dropped me at school and dia akan pergi kedai kawan dia and fetched me later or dia balik rumah and datang ambil later. So ada one time ni, my mom lambat sikit. So i memang punctual gila. 2.30pm i dah kena gerak. So that day my mom lambat, so i keluar rumah and jalan sendiri ke sekolah. Can you imagine? Kalau aku lah ada anak camtu memang dah kena marah dah. My mom passed by my school and dia tgk i, pastu i toleh buat buat tak nampak. Hahahaha. what a brat? So fast forward masa i nak masuk stf, i cam okay je. My mom, of course lah dia berat hati. I pergi pun sebab my sister insisted me sebab dia teringin nak masuk asrama. So masa hantar tu of course lah sedih takde kawan. Second day, i called her cakap dah taknak dah kat sini. Dorang masak ikan. Sebab i am very choosy with my food. Pastu mak i cam, mak nak buat cemana? Mak tak dapat datang. Basically dia tak layan pun i nak keluar. Hahahaha. When i was in stf, i start jauh sikit dari family. Basically i rasa i ada life i sendiri. Tapi tu lah menyesal gak. Sebab my parents rarely datang visit me. Sebab semua orang busy.<br />
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My mom, has been a greatest mom ever. Dia jahitkan i baju raya i or any thing yang i nak. Dia akan tolong i bila i ada exam seni and dia bagi banyak idea. And dia akan cakap how her dad was very artistic and buat macam macam masa dia kecil dulu. And everytime i nak pergi sekolah, dia akan mandikan i every morning. Ikat rambut i the way i want it to be. Siapkan bag i, air nak pergi sekolah. Lipatkan lengan baju i every morning. Gosokkan baju. Sometimes, i wonder what if i tak masuk stf, my life would be different? Will i regret that i grow up jauh dari family i all these while? I rasa masa i kat kms je best sbb mak and abah datang almost every week. Pernah one time tu abah kerja kat Myanmar, so takde sape nak hantar mak kat kms visiting me. And i merajuk, tetiba dia whatsapp kata dia datang dgn kakak i. I was so happy sbb masa tu i dah nangis dah dia taknak datang. Kalau mak i tak datang pun i akan balik rumah naik ktm. Almost every week i akan jumpa mak and my family. And ada satu masa ni, i kena chicken pox masa kat kms. I called my mom tengah hari tu kata mak orang nak balik, harini juga. And my mom kata okaylah nanti dia suruh abah balik awal.<br />
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To think of what she have done to me all these while, makes me feel what a blessing for me to have her. Though i selalu terasa, sebab ye lah i kan suka nak menggedik. But she's done everything for me. Dari i kecil sampailah i kebesar ni. Everyday i pray to Allah, that He grant both of my parents health and happiness in their life sebab jaga i dari kecil till this day. For being the bestest thing i have in my life. For able to fulfil my needs and wants. For always have time to gossiping with me. For always knows whats the best for me. And for always giving me advices and be someone yang i can rely on. Some part me still regret going to india, sebab jauh dengan family. It's been years since i jauh dgn family i. Not be able to be there in every occasions sedih weh. I think i've had enough being apart from my family. Homesick pula tetiba writing this. Okaylah sheda nak focus study dah now, so boleh balik Malaysia cepat. Kbye. (literally crying on my bed now) so i cannot proceed with my entry. Sorry guys. </div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-16819093365077648102018-04-07T19:34:00.003+08:002018-04-07T19:34:29.770+08:00Friend?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have been a little sceptical about friends. When i was in primary, i had many friends as i can get along with everyone. Tho some people who didnt know me thought i was ignorant/sombong just because i actually didnt know how to start a conversation. But those who closed with me i can joke around or at least i know what they like or what they didnt so i know to what extent i can joke around. I played with everyone in the taman so many people joined and we had like a larger group to play "police-entry" and "ice melt" those kind of things.<br />
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But as i grow older, i went to a boarding school far from home. I met new friends and know new people and maybe i changed with the environment as well. But i would say i had fun in the old days with my friends. Create memories together. Those days were filled with joy and laughter. But i realized that people dont stay. As i finished my highschool, i enter a new phase of life. I went into a college. I am the only person from my school. And i made new friends again and create new memories.<br />
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They are few things happened in my life, when i thought will not happen. When i was a kid i hope my bestfriends will always be there till we die and what not. But things didnt happen they way i want it to be. I remembered a day that i had a fight with my family because i defended my friends and my brother told me "KAWAN KAU BUKAN STAY SAMPAI MATI PUN" and i was really devastated with him and my family at the time. Which later i had a huge fight with them. Little did i know, now i end up end my friendship with those friends because they talk behind my back. I dont know if my family cursed me for being friends with them ke apa. But yeah shit happened.<br />
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The thing is, i have a small circle of friends that i cherish on now. I didnt expect much from my friends but the least thing i hope is they stay there for me and just be my real friends. I dont really contact them as much as i did back then as everyone is busy with their commitments. But i really appreciate their existence in my life. To my old friends, tho some part of me still angry for those who backstabbed me. Even at times i wonder what went wrong or what did i do to you guys? But i think Allah give me lessons through people. They taught me what life is. And those old friends that i lost contact with, i remember some of you guys and thanks for memories. And those who is still with me, i would like to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for stay with me. And for people out there, who have friends, appreciate them. My mom selalu pesan "kalau nak percaya orang berpada-pada, benci orang jangan sekali"</div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-33692212883188439372017-09-14T19:50:00.001+08:002017-09-14T19:50:09.002+08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had my first heart broken when i was 19 years old. I feel like my world is collapsed and i didn't know what my future holds me. It is indeed one of those period of times which is very hard for me to face. I thought as i grow bigger, i can overcome all the circumstances in my life as i thought i already faced the hardest phase of my life. But, i am wrong.<br />
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Coming to India and studying here is the biggest decision i made by myself. My mom already advised me about it. But i chose to stick to my decision. I thought everything will just fine or at least be normal and time will fly so fast that i wont realize it. But again, i am wrong. Living here is the another hardest phase in my life. The environment, people, college and even the animals can irritate me. And even worst, i just started to curse at everything that makes me annoy. Even when the cow is sitting in the middle of the road, i will whine.<br />
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At first I didnt realize that i am changing. You know, from someone yang can sabar to some extent to a person yg being extra panas baran. And the worst thing is, i started thinking of so many things. I didnt know how it is started but i started feeling of dont wanna do anything. I just wanna sleep all day errday. I dont want to interact as i think everything annoys me. And makin lama i rasa that everyone abandoned me here. I started being stressful on so many things. And ended up, im having a mild depression. And even sometimes, some things were just annoyed me, stressed me up - i started thinking of how does it feel to cut myself. How does it feel if i kill myself. And the hardest thing is, when i open up to someone, that how miserable my life is, and even said that i thought about suicide, they'll tell me. "Sheda awak ni islam kan?" "jangan buat benda bodoh sheda" "Sheda solat jaga ibadat, baca Quran". The funny thing is, i never skipped my solat, i read Quran, from time to time i do listen to ceramah in youtube or whatnot. I am sad because no one, wants to know what i feel deep inside me. It's just all messed up down here. And now, i just keep everything to myself.<br />
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Maybe it's true, my iman is not strong enough. Who knows isnt it? I'm writing this is not to get any attention from anyone, but just to make people realize that, there's a lot people like me. Yang feeling devastated, down, stress and depress. But when they started open up to you, please listen. If you dont have anything to say, at least being a listener. Jangan simply judge that we dont solat or ibadat ke apa. Some of us, we never forget our obligation. We just need a company. Who wants to listen and be there. </div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-63265551792828656412017-06-07T18:26:00.001+08:002017-06-07T18:26:46.135+08:00Abah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I kow my exam is coming (which is next week). But let me take a moment to write a post about my lovely abah. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">ABAH</span></div>
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Abah is the most hardworking person i've ever known in my life. I used to be so close with my dad when i was a kid. Probably because im the youngest in my family. What people usually called daddy's little girl. I remember how he used to back me up when mom scolded me. Dia akan pujuk sheda sampai tak memangis. Dia akan try his best to fulfil what i want. And the only time i remember abah marah me when i was in 5 years old kot sebab kacau dia tidur. Abah dia suka memancing, sangat sangat suka. So when i was a lil girl, i used to teman my dad memancing kat kolam mancing dengan my sister. It's so funny sebab kiteorang je budak kat situ and sibuk tengok orang mancing. Bila kiteorang dah start bosan abah akan, jom jalan kolam ni tgk ikan orang. We got super excited bila abah cakap camtu. Or abah akan bagi duit so that kiteorang beli some drinks and foods kat stall situ. My parents ajar kiteorang if i want something, i should be excel in my studies. So i kena dapat tempat 1,2 or 3. So when i was in year 3, for the first time i got no 1 in my class. Selalunya no 2 dan kebawah :D So i remembered i asked my dad to buy me a Barbie sebab masa tu semua kawan sheda ada barbie. And that is when i got my first Barbie, sheda pergi beli dengan abah. And my mom, dia akan jahitkan my Babie punya dresses :') I remember abah never forget my birthday, dia akan selalu belikan hadiah and surprise me. And there's one time when i was in year 6, abah belikan mechanical pencil for engineer/architect probably he hope i will be engineer or architect one day. I should have asked him apa dia fikir masa nampak pencil tu and wanna buy it for me. Faham tak? But as i grow older, we become distant. Mungkin sebab i went to boarding school. I usually called my mom masa high school. Sebab rasa sangat awkward when cakap kat abah through the phone. Hahahaha. And probably when Dania muncul, abah selalu memangkan dania over me. Dia akan scolded me. So i rasa offended.</div>
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So fast forward, when i was in high school. Memang tak pernah call abah at all. Pernah one time call mak but abah angkat, and i was like eh abah. Mak mana? And he was like haa jap. Then thats all. So abah tahu about me through mak. But that doesnt mean we dont interact at all. Abah yang akan datang sekolah ambil. So masa i was in form 2, abah kerja kat JB. So almost every week abah dtg if dia tak balik KL. Abah akan tanya akak nak makan apa? Akak nak keluar pergi memana? And fast forward lagi masa SPM. So masa result SPM nak keluar, i mmg tak plan nak ambil result kat sekolah je. Sebab mmg tk confident langsung dengan result. And tetiba abah insist nak juga pergi ambil result kat skolah skali. Ingat lagi masatu kereta abah roadtax mati sebab tak bayar lagi. Hahaha so masa tu kereta yang ada is Kelisa. Malas nak pinjam kereta my brother or sister sebab it was really last minute plan. We leave house after subuh, doa sempat sampai before result announcement. Alhamdulillah sempat sampai before result announcement, and nervous gila masa tu. And sekali masa dia sebut nama straight A's naik atas pentas, and yes nama i dipanggil naik. I was about to cry. Unexpected and unbelievable. Turun pentas, i went to my dad and i said, Abah orang dapat straight A's. And i saw his eyes become teary, merah and about to nangis and he hugged me. I was happy sebab i made my dad proud of me. Maybe dia rasa puas and worth it, drive KL-JB-KL naik kelisa guys non-stop. It's one day trip. </div>
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And masa kat KMS, almost every week mak and abah visit. Kalau abah busy, jija ke sesapa akan teman mak to KMS. And i remember masa tu sheda kena demam campak, and i called my mom. I told her, orang nak balik malam ni juga. Abah rush balik rumah awal dari kerja and he drove through jam to seremban. Tahu tahu je lah kl-seremban jam cemana on weekdays. And abah and mak picked me up malam tu around 10 malam sampai. Abah pernah juga datang dengan jija visit me sekejap and keluar makan je. Abah will try to do everything to make me happy. And before i fly, he worked at myanmar. I didnt expect abah akan ada on that day masa i fly, and skali he surprised me, he flew back to malaysia just to sent me on that day. I have the best dad in the world. I wish i can tell him how much he means to me. But just because our family express love in terms of action instead of words, thus i never be able to tell him, I love you so much abah. And i should probably call my abah now. But, semua orang sure busy kat rumah bulan puasa ni. Okay thanks sape sanggup baca till the end. Next time i will nag about my supermom pula. Hehehe. So moral of the story, ayah dia tetap akan sayang anak dia macam mana sekali pun even he never said it to you. but yknow, dad will always be dad.</div>
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p/s: meleleh okay sheda write</div>
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this post. Hahaha, and do</div>
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pray for me to pass this finals</div>
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with flying colour. Amin</div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-1122999951439054692017-05-27T00:46:00.003+08:002017-05-27T00:46:39.813+08:00it's time to let it go<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I just realized that im losing you. No longer your mused. I thought im gonna be okay. So this is how it feel likes, when you were attached to someone, no matter how bad they treated you, but you still want them in your arm because you love them. People may say you crazy or stupid, but they dont understand what you feel. they dont see it the way you see it. </div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-26376649195469673112017-05-14T20:32:00.001+08:002017-05-14T20:32:05.620+08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Regarding the previous post, sheda takde lah benci sangat sekolah. Ada je good memories tapi banyak bad memories daripada good. Plus sheda bersykur and berterima kasih kepada semua cikgu cikgu yg pernah ajar sheda up till this day. They meant a lot to me. And keberkatan ilmu itu juga penting, maksudnya jaga hubungan ni dengan manusia pun penting.</div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-90314070825589442902017-05-14T00:27:00.004+08:002017-05-14T00:45:05.045+08:00Social media is a place where you cannot express yourself<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So yesterday i posted a status in Facebook telling about my bad memories when i was in high school. Because what happened is still fresh in my mind. What that warden said to me is still lingers in my head and for me, it is kind of rude for her to say that to me. I didnt even mention her name in my status. But of course my schoolmate know who she is. But yeah whatever.<br />
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I was telling a status kind of more like a story. <b>MY INTENTION WAS TO MAKE IT AS A LESSON FOR EVERYBODY</b>. I want my facebook friends to know that, no matter what happened or mad you are never ever say something mean and rude! And i wanna them to know how much it affects me or other people. I probably can say i was mentally abused back then isnt it? Despite of i was a naughty girl, but boleh dikatakan dia fitnah me lah masa tu because i didnt have any intentions of doing as what she was thinking. And then when she said something unacceptable i couldnt take it. I mean she humiliated me and judged me? I respected her as you know elderly, teacher and what not. I didnt even talk back. I just went out and i felt like first i was mad because she accused me was not right, then tambah tambah she said all those things, membara beb hati.<br />
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Okay some people said macam janganlah humiliate her even i didnt mention her name but there are still some people know siapa dia and some tanya kenapa out of the blue i nak confess. First, that wasnt my intention nak humiliate her but my intention was nak bagitahu org jangan cakap benda benda tak elok kt orang especially when you are a teacher cakap benda macam tu kt budak yang nak grow up, budak tu akan terkesan (mentally abuse is far worst than physically abuse). Second, siapa kata dia out of the blue? I waited and had pendam all those things yg bad and macam mana org buat kat i masa kat sekolah for few years and now i just nak let it out because it has been more than 5 years and i thought people dont give a damn about that. Because i dont care about my high school anymore or even whatever related to it.<br />
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Kalau nak list down betapa banyak i hate my high school year banyak sangat. I hate the environment and almost everything. Thats why my circle from high school sikit because i am tired dengan orang bertalam talam muka and mengutuk each other. I've been through it, even after keluar sekolah pun perangai sama. Aku sendiri pernah kena aku tahu perasaan dia macam mana. Please laa whoever think i wrote sebab nak menjatuhkan sesiapa ke apa memang tkde niat langsung. Boleh tak buka sikit minda tu? Boleh korang pun berhusnuzon dengan aku? You dont know what ive been through so please. I know benda benda ni buat who i am today. And yes it is. But it still a lesson i wanna tell to people supaya dorang tak jadi dungu and takde commonsense. Arghhhhh stress aku.<br />
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Thats why i love KMS. Pernah weh aku keluar pukul 12 tengah malam nak pergi NKI (mamak) near our college masa tu. Kiteorang 6 org semua perempuan. Kantoi dengan warden paling garang masa tu, kena lecture kat mamak tu lek je kiteorang. Dia takdelah cakap apa just cakap kenapa macam ni bahaya semua and dia kata smua perempuan kalau kena culik cemana. But in a marah aka tengking kind of way kat mamak tu, ending of her lecture dia cakap i taknak pape jadi kat uolls sebab i sayang students i (even dia AL punya teacher bukan IB pun). Please promise jangan buat lagi. Dia just suruh bagi nama on her table je tomorrow morning. Kiteorang kena marah dengan 5 orang cikgu kot. But chill je. Dorang cakap marah marah tapi end up lembut je semua. See the difference now?<br />
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Memang aku type ni dalam keadaan marah dan ego. Tapi please lah you guys faham juga aku. Social media is a place where one's wants to express what they feel or what not. Jangan jadi judges tak berbayar.</div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-32216842045659429252017-05-11T01:33:00.000+08:002017-05-11T01:33:00.241+08:00sayat.me/shedahamidiah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Thank for those who tell me things that are so sweet and supportive. It is very sweet of you guys saying of those little things that i did to you which some i dont even remember (I am so sorry). You know, you never know how much it meant for someone if you did even small things. And thanks for make me realized that i am appreciated and make me feel that there are some people do care about me. It is like the things that i wanna hear for such a long time. You guys make me realised that how important kindness is. How can even small kindness that you make can turn someone's day to getting better :')<br />
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You know when you feel that life is getting hard you feel that you cant achieve what you want in your life, but actually there is some people who is still rooting for you. You just dont know that. Ya Allah i am so thankful for those who know me and always hoping the best for me. InsyaAllah, i will pray for you guys punya success juga, and yes thank you thank you sooo much semua yg sentiasa ada for me and even someone yg ingat good things about me. You guys make me feel so happy and grateful because we met at some point of our lives and i do hope we will across each other paths again the future. Insya-Allah :)<br />
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xoxo,</div>
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Sheda</div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-6029445075738081682017-05-04T20:25:00.000+08:002017-05-04T20:25:28.178+08:00What a bad day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I went to hospital for another appointment today. Because of that i was unable to attend the morning classes, which i am scared my attendance is not enough to sit for final :( Omo. Then, during practical classes, my typhodant teeth, a fake teeth whic need to be mounted on the jaws for pre-clinical work jatuh kat lantai then hilang. My Tofflemiere retainer pun ada part tu jatuh kat lantai hilang. So we have this lubang bawah meja kat lab tu which i called 'Lubang Puaka'<br />
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Every benda jatuh je kat bawah lantai, chances for you nak jumpa balik your stuff is like 20%. And if you dgr sound dia jatuh mcam kuat kuat kuat tetiba hilang, CONFIRM KUBANG PUAKA TU DAH SEDUT. Even kau suluh ke apa dalam lubang puaka tu, KAU TAK AKAN JUMPA!!! Boleh tak all this stuffs yg hilang tu mahal. Dah lah nak final, time time ni lah nak hilanglah nak rosak laaa etc etc.<br />
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Ya Allah, berilah kesabaran kepada hati yg teraniaya dengan lubang puaka tu. Amin.<br />
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p/s: sheda bosan. sorry lah kalau banyak meroyan kat sini. Meroyan kat twitter orang marah, meroyan kat insta orang annoy. Hmm kat blog je lah mampu.</div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-37162420599867842272017-05-02T16:16:00.000+08:002017-05-02T16:17:52.662+08:00Post eye surgery<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Since i've been staying at home all alone for quite some times. It triggers so many things. I thought i could sit back and relax my mind, you know when you have the free time. But it happens otherwise. My mind cant stop thinking. Thinking about my life, my future, all sorts of things keep coming.<br />
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Someone told me that, if i'm scared of my future, i'm in the right track. But really, thinking about what happen next, or what my life will be in the future is so scared. And yeah bosan sangat duduk rumah since i cannot hadap my laptop or my phone for a long time. So what i did was literally sleep, eat and slep again and the cycle repeat. Harini pergi class macam a big mistakes je because my eyes jadi sangat dry and irritated so much that i feel like dying. Kalau nangis elok lah juga at least tears will keep my eyes wet tapi tak nangis pun. Ya Allah, cepatlah july. Cepatlah habis belajar somehow :(<br />
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-11515376767423886152017-05-01T22:39:00.002+08:002017-05-03T00:39:55.306+08:00Breakup is still a break-up<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Even though someone might say, it's okay, you will forget him eventually or you will be happy. And all those advices they might give you. You still feel sad deep down inside. Maybe you might see that this is coming (the breakups) but when it happens eventually, you will sad, lonely and depress.<br />
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It's juts because you used to be with that person before this. All those little things he did, he said or they way he smile made you happy before this, or the way he calm you down when you get mad, or the way he talks, or eat. You will miss all those little things. Because things will be different from now on. Youre no longer his sidekick, no longer the one he's looking for after something happen. Youre no longer gonna seat next to him in the car listening to same musics. Youre no longer seat in front of him during lunchtime. Things will be different.<br />
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You might find someone new after this. But all those things you did with your ex will be different with your new partner. You are going to a new journey and learning a new character and again trying to fit in.<br />
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But you will be okay. Someday, somewhere. When you start to accept that things have changed and everything happens for a reason. You will be okay. And dont forget that Allah is the one who holds people heart. Pray to Him. Always.<br />
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-89106732076337958962017-04-27T00:55:00.000+08:002017-04-27T00:55:28.260+08:00How to write a happy post?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Whenever i go through my blog post, mostly macam about my sadness or what not. I dont know what should i write in blog. Okay laa probably this one is gonna be a funny post. It happened few minutes earlier.<br />
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So as i was trying to figure out to change my playlist in my blog. I was so focused la doing my work kan sebab the songs didnt come out sebab i like this song because i feel so close to me. SO I WANT WHOEVER READ MY BLOG LISTEN TO THAT SONG. SO PLEASE STAY AND LISTEN UNTILL THE SONGS END!! Okay as i focused doing my work, i heard sound of my cat eat their foods from their plate, but yang peliknya both of my cats literally in front of me. I was oh shit what is that?! And mata Johnny and Ginny tajam look at their food place tau. I was like jangan macam macam. Jeng jeng jeng<br />
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As i turned around...<br />
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I saw another cat -,- which is a wild cat from the outside!! I was like, THAT IS NOT MY CAT. And the cat's face was like ahhh shit kantoi. And my cat, dorang tengok je wehh. Bapak ah tak membantu menjaga keamanan rumah betul laa dua ekor ni.<br />
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Pastu i nak bangun sebab nak bagi the random cat which i wanna called it K tu makan sebab i am sure dia lapar sampai masuk rumah orang. And dia terus lari. hahaha cuak lettewww. Btw my house tingkat satu okay, susah payah dia nak panjat. Sian dia. So after this we have to close our kitchen balcony, nanti ada orang rogol Ginny susah lak. Bapak tak kenal pula nanti. Hahahahaha.<br />
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the end.</div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-669027458493902132017-04-15T02:37:00.000+08:002017-04-15T02:40:36.854+08:00Dark<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I was diagnosed having a depression few days ago. After the result came out, I had a break down. Tetiba terasa like how does it feel to be normal people? Is it fun? Am i weird enough to have this kind of minds and feelings? It must be great isnt it if you dont have things that annoy you?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It sucks, bila rasa sedih but you dont know why. Bila rasa nak marah with everything tanpa sebab and people keep questioning you why are you behaving like this? What is wrong with you? There'll be time that i am so happy that i can laugh so hard. There'll be time i feel like i wanna stay on my bed crying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It's so hard. It's even harder when you dont know why. And it hits me so hard when someone say "Kita kan ada agama, kenapa nak fikir bukan bukan?" Bukan aku tak solat, bukan aku tak jaga hubungan dengan Allah. It's just that, the feeling, the thoughts tu come and go. And i hate it even more when someone makes me feel completely stupid and tear me down instead of being supportive. You better get stay out of the line if you arent helping me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: xx-small;">Stay strong dearself</span></div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-50901289499884548952017-01-19T23:06:00.001+08:002017-01-19T23:06:52.134+08:00Don't hurt her<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
it takes so much time for me write this post and yes this post will be in multi language (Malay & English) since it is what i've been kept for myself for quite sometime.<div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Don't Hurt Her</span></div>
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Few days ago, I baca this one article pasal sorang laki ni tinggalkan tunang dia sebab nak get back to his ex. It triggered back my memory and whatever yang i akan tulis is mainly a lesson bukan atas dasar i tak boleh get rid lagi of what had happened. This is a lesson to all girls and also boys out there. </div>
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Girls,</div>
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probably one day, you akan jumpa someone that you will fall in love with this guy and you'll think that he is the one. And pada masa tu maybe you tak akan realize how much you love him and you rasa it's okay. Sebab you sure he will be the one for you. Dia bawa awak jumpa family dia, dia pun jumpa family awak. And even worst dia akan janji kahwin dgn awak. But the truth is, we never know, betul ke tidak. I cant stop you from loving him, but all i can say is don't love him too much. Orang akan kata, dia dah serious bawa awak jumpa parents semua. But dia boleh tinggalkan awak. Even orang dah kahwin pun bercerai apatah lagi awak yg baru just in a relationship or tunang. You can love him but remember this "Allah yang pegang hati manusia". Jangan sesekali lupakan Allah dalam mencintai seseorang. And sentiasa ingat yang hati manusia berubah and kalau orang tu dah tak suka awak one day. You kena terima hakikat tu. Sebab tu never love him too much. Take care of yourself, love yourself, pampered yourself as much you can because no one will ever love you more than Allah and yourself do. As a girl, you should take care of yourself. Know your value and jangan sesekali biar orang ambil hak awak. </div>
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Probably one day dia akan kata, i dont think we can make it. I dont have any feelings towards you anymore. Beribu alasan dia akan bagi and dia akan kata awak deserve better. And you should just tell him, yes i deserve someone who will fight for me. I deserve someone who makes me happy and appreciate and love myself. Never hesitate to say that. Sebab yes you are. You deserve someone way better than him. Dia deserve someone lower than you. You are too good for him yang low class. Know your standard girls. I've been in that situation, and now i know why. Sebab Allah tahu yg I berhak dapat apa yg I patut dapat. Somehow just thank him for letting you go because you dont have to keep someone toxic in your life.</div>
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And boys,</div>
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Please dont hurt her. If you tak rasa nak kahwin or end up with her. Jadi je lah kawan for her. Why would you wanna make her sad? Bukan awak ke beriya nak dia in the first place masa dia takde secebis kasih sayang pun kat awak? Pernah ke awak fikir hati perasaan dia yg awak mainkan. Dia seorang anak, dia juga seorang kakak, dia seorang adik dan dia juga akan menjadi seorang ibu. Have you ever terfikir, what if anak, kakak, adik or mak awak orang sakitkan hati. Orang permainkan perasaan dia. Awak tahu tak, betapa susahnya parents and adik beradik dia nak keep her happy while you just ambil dia kejap and hancurkan dia? Pernah tak awak fikir sekali. Or mungkin you dont have humanity at all. Mungkin kalau mak awak kena rogol awak pun okay je. Fikirlah wahai lelaki sekalian. Dont her hurt. You dont have the rights to hurt her. She deserve to be happy without you. </div>
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And indeed Allah is the best planner. Pray to Him. Always.</div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-28868067862462858672016-12-05T21:08:00.000+08:002016-12-05T21:08:09.815+08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
to whoever once told me that they will be there for me but when i need them, they never show up.<br />
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thanks for make me realize that i should live on my own. when i felt that world crashed me down, when i thought society was so cruel and when i think that at least there will be someone to be there for me but actually they wont be anyone but me.<br />
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this past few weeks, so many things come and go. and i had mixed feelings and emotions and i wish i could stop from this emotions from consuming me. i cried, a lot. it's not because i just need some sympathy but it makes me realize that i have no one in my life. The one i can open up telling everything or at least someone who wouldnt mind spare some time to talk to me or actually listen about my feelings.<br />
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<i>"You cant expect everyone has time for you"</i> (friend, 2016)</div>
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and it hurts me more because whenever i told someone i wanna see a therapist, they'll be like. </div>
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<i>"Hey whats wrong? It's normal whatever happens in you happens in some other people also"</i></div>
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<i>"You're not crazy to see a therapist"</i></div>
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<i>"Laaa you dont need to worry laa. You'll be okay"</i></div>
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and i am so tired to hear all this stuffs. you dont know what im facing. even if you do, youre different from me and if you ask me to be like you, how? i mean how can i change from this kind of attitude and habit to be someone like you. how? all the things happen to me might me normal for you. but not for me. We are different. yes, i am weak. thats why im trying to build myself. probably this is the weakest part of me. i am sure, i will grow and be stronger. </div>
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sometimes, talking to stranger feels nicer than talking to someone who you already knew.</div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-62041037343792458942016-11-07T21:26:00.001+08:002016-11-07T21:26:10.530+08:00Am i having a depression?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hi guys, whoever that stops and by chance read this post. I just wanna ask if this symptoms that im having right now is a <b>depression</b>?<br />
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It all started couple of years ago, i had a major breakdown. But it became worst since i came to India since i spend more time by myself and im having a hard time to adapt here.<br />
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<li>I become <b>emotionally unstable</b></li>
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This is the major symptoms im having at the moment. At first i though it was normal because i am a girl. I thought it was probably due to my hormones fluctuations. But after a while, it become more more severe. I can be happy then out of nowhere i can be mad, sad, or stress in just a sec. And a lot of people notice this, but they blame me because they said it was me who cant control my emotions. But the thing is, i tried, so many times. But i just cant and the worst thing is, i dont even know why i feel that way. When people ask am i okay and why? i dont a reason at all</div>
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<li>I <b>avoid any form of interaction </b>with people</li>
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I prefer to stay at my room by myself. Talking to people seem very hard for me. I prefer not to interact. And i become lazy to talk. I am an introvert but before this i still can talk to my bestfriends and family nonstop and share so many things with them. But now i dont feel like talking. I prefer to listen or just dont have any interaction at all. I feel thats way better than talking or having awkward moment with anyone.</div>
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<li>I <b>prefer to do things alone</b></li>
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Since i dont like any form of interactions, i started to do everything by myself. Apart from because of i dont like any interactions, there are alson few reasons why i do things alone. I think i might burden someone and people dont like when i ask so many things from them. And i avoid to ask for help even when i really need someone. And i keep everything that i feel or my experience by myself and after awhile it burdens me. </div>
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I dont know what i'm having right now. But i feel really bad about myself because people cant accept this kind of behaviour of me. It's not that i dont try to change i did but things didnt work as what i want. I get tired when people blame me for what i'm having. It just i dont know why my mood change in a sec. I dont know why i just wanna lie down in my bed even tho so many things i have to do. It sucks because people blame me but even i dont know what is wrong with myself. And it more sucks because people eventually get tired with me.</div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-1875035298779763602016-11-06T17:23:00.002+08:002020-05-07T01:45:16.456+08:00Let's put an end here.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;">First of all, thank you for being there all these while. I should've known that this is coming. I should've been prepared. It must been hard for you to love a broken-hearted girl. You had to take everything cautiously. I had been the one you push you away, telling you i am not good enough, i am the one who always think the negative side of myself, blindly blaming you that one day you'll do the same as what other people did to me. Out of those things, you tried to make me believe that you wont do that, you'll try to be there for me, telling me that i am a great person. Thanks for making me believe that there was someone who will accept me for who i am, and i am not that bad. But things didnt always happen the way we want it to be. And then finally you said, you have had enough. All i can think is "again?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't know how you feel when you were with me. I thought it must been hard for you as well. It must been hard for you to cope with your life and me at the same time. I know you have a big dreams. Maybe i was the one who stops you from chasing your dreams. Maybe whenever i need your time, you were busy doing your work. Maybe you didnt have the time to be there for me. Maybe the little things that i asked from you is too much for you to fulfil. and i am sorry for that. for asking so many things from you. for not be able to understand how busy you are with your life. i dont understand that the things that you are doing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">but, it came to my realisation that, i should be one of your future as well. i should be treated as one of your precious things. i should have a small part in your life too. i didnt ask for you to be there for me 24/7. i didnt ask you to give me all the luxuries things. because all those things i can find it for myself. I just need you to be there when im not okay. i just need you to give a simple good morning message that make me happy throughout the day. i just need a goodnight phone call that make me happy before im going to bed. I just need a little time of your life for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">All those free time you spent with you friends, i didnt mind at all because it your rights and i know how much friendship means to you. I didnt mind all those days when you were feeling tired and wanna have a good rest. And i am sorry for not be able to understand you. And being the worst thing you ever had in your life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I just wanna put it to an end here. If you were thinking what you were doing this for our future and thought that i didnt understand that, i just want you to know. that, i understand. I know you want to give me a comfortable life in the future. But i hope you should understand that, you should give some of your time for me as well. If you think that you were the only one who is struggling for our future, i am doing the same thing as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And i just wanna put this to an end. And i do hope one day you'll lower you ego and come to your realisation whatever that i did for you. I know what i did is never enough for you. Theres a lot of things i wanna say but it will make it harder for me. Hope you'll get what you want in your life. I hope you'll find someone that will always be there for you and makes you feel happy every second of your life. I hope you'll have a wonderful life ahead. and if you ever happen to read this. I am so thankful that you came across in my life. Though it was short, but it gives me a valuable lesson. Thanks for making me stronger and harder and independent woman. </span></div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-38367253102126642382016-09-05T01:57:00.002+08:002016-09-05T01:57:34.990+08:00my biggest fear<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Salam and hi guys! So since i think that there's no one to talk to here (india) i think I'm gonna use this blog as a place to spill. Basically, I'm having a hard time in India. Eventho this year is my second year but i don't adapt well here.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have problems in finding someone to trust and i can really rely on. All this while i always someone that i rely on when I'm at somewhere. Coming here, there are only few malaysians and it's hard for me to really know people and it's even harder when i don't have anyone to talk to when I'm stress or having problems. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Besides, i have this kind of behaviour or attitude which i think that everyone doesn't like the way i treat them. When they don't talk to me, i think they dont like things i do or my behaviour. This thing in me has set a barrier between me and them which making me to set a distant between them. I don't know what should i do. I just kinda sad over the time and i think it consumes me tho. Ugh sucks. I wanna go back Malaysia so bad :( </span></div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-21283807156654405332016-08-28T03:50:00.002+08:002016-08-28T03:52:00.112+08:00Keep moving on<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hi, this is not a motivational story but here is something i would like to share and hope it will be something beneficial for you out there :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My nickname is Sheda. That's what people called me. I'm turning 21 this year. I still can't be believe that I'm gonna be 21 this year lol. My life after all is awesome so far. So let's start. Bismillah. (Please ignore my mix languages; Malay and English)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Here is ups and downs of my life. Saya sekolah di sekolah asrama penuh from Form 1 till form 5. it was amazing. it's a all-girl school after all. Even orang selalu cakap macam macam about all girls school but it wasn't that bad and it was super duper cool okay!!!! Saya aman duduk sana. I can do whatever i want and all girls well you can do anything without being judge after all. lol. So, I got a good results for my SPM (Sijil Pendidikan Malaysia). Basically, my life was perfect back then.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">so here is another phase of my life. I dapat MARA (Pinjaman boleh ubah) which means if you got good results it will be like a scholarship. So here is the most amazing thing in my life. I decided to be a dentist. As for preparation before going to degree, i decided to do IB (International Baccalaureate). it is a 2 years program. Okay my first sem i did quite well. Perform ah orang kata en. But fyi, IB ni finals dia on the last sem which means masa sem 4. Basically takde apa pun results sem satu ni sampai sem 3. macam nak test test je lah. Hahaha. But finals for sem 4 masuk semua benda yang dah belajar dari sem 1 sampailah sem 4. And dia ada internal assessments throughout 2 years tu (this will be your carry marks). Yang ni malas nak explain sebab dia complicated and susah. Here comes sem 3. I will always remember this. This is another turning point of my life, i had a roughest phase of my life during sem 3. Honestly, THE ROUGHEST. and the worst thing is, it affects my study life. i take tahu apa yang i belajar throughout my third semester. Like blank. I went to classes macam normal. But my soul, my heart and my mind weren't there. And my results masa sem 3 is bad. Kena panggil dengan lecturer tanya what happened to you sheda? This is when reality hit my face really hard. I never got anything worst than this. Masa ni baru sedar, Allah tarik nikmat dia bagi. Fyi, up till this day i tak tahu berapa i results i masa tu. But i know, i am the lowest in my class. But then, i start study hard, orang kata study smart kan? Takde masa tu i put all my effort for my finals. I did everything that i could just to pass points until fly. Alhamdulillah, dengan berkat parents, doa and support from kawan kawan. I managed to get good results for final sem 4. Which, with my result i lepas points until fly! Alhamdulillah. Bersyukur sangat masa tu. Gigil kot nak tengok results masa tu :'(</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">After tu ingat boleh terus fly. HAHAHAHA. Harapan. Nasib tak menyebelahi kami. We have technical problem with MARA and college. Which, seat untuk kami yg sepatutnya dah ada tapi terlepas pandang maka here is another dugaan buat kami semua. We have to go through lots of procedure sebab semua uni dah ambil students for degree so kami dah terlambat nak apply. Tengok member lain fly kite ni hantar kat airport je masa tu :( We had to sit another exam. Ya Allah, rasa nak nangis masa tu. Tapi takpe, cuba positive masa tu. Kita pun tawakkal je lah masa tu. After went through lots of procedure, and macam macam masalah. Some of my friend's parents sampai naik turn Pejabat MARA banyak kali. Alhamdulillah, Allah makbulkan doa kami data lah fly to India. My uni is JSS Dental College And Hospital. Tak pernah dengar kan? Lol, this is another amazing journey of my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So here i am, second year dental students at JSS. Wish me luck everyone! And for those yg tolong I masa susah and senang, thank you so much for helping. My journey at India I update after graduate okay? Hehehehe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">P/S: Moral of the story, never give up on whatever you're doing. There's always a beautiful future aheads you. No matter what shits happen in your life, trust me. You can endure it. Always pray to Him and put all your effort in whatever you're doing. He will help you. All the best from me to whoever facing hardships in their life :) I love you guys so much :*</span></div>
sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3068149730772811392.post-16172048841839910712016-07-16T23:18:00.000+08:002016-07-16T23:18:33.060+08:00Stop<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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stop letting people take advantage on you.</div>
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stop doing things that you hate for the sake of others.</div>
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stop thinking what people are thinking of you.</div>
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stop letting people define who you are.</div>
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stop being someone else.</div>
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stop hurting yourself.</div>
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sheda hamidiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222072743888459755noreply@blogger.com0