First of all, thank you for being there all these while. I should've known that this is coming. I should've been prepared. It must been hard for you to love a broken-hearted girl. You had to take everything cautiously. I had been the one you push you away, telling you i am not good enough, i am the one who always think the negative side of myself, blindly blaming you that one day you'll do the same as what other people did to me. Out of those things, you tried to make me believe that you wont do that, you'll try to be there for me, telling me that i am a great person. Thanks for making me believe that there was someone who will accept me for who i am, and i am not that bad. But things didnt always happen the way we want it to be. And then finally you said, you have had enough. All i can think is "again?"
I didn't know how you feel when you were with me. I thought it must been hard for you as well. It must been hard for you to cope with your life and me at the same time. I know you have a big dreams. Maybe i was the one who stops you from chasing your dreams. Maybe whenever i need your time, you were busy doing your work. Maybe you didnt have the time to be there for me. Maybe the little things that i asked from you is too much for you to fulfil. and i am sorry for that. for asking so many things from you. for not be able to understand how busy you are with your life. i dont understand that the things that you are doing.
but, it came to my realisation that, i should be one of your future as well. i should be treated as one of your precious things. i should have a small part in your life too. i didnt ask for you to be there for me 24/7. i didnt ask you to give me all the luxuries things. because all those things i can find it for myself. I just need you to be there when im not okay. i just need you to give a simple good morning message that make me happy throughout the day. i just need a goodnight phone call that make me happy before im going to bed. I just need a little time of your life for me.
All those free time you spent with you friends, i didnt mind at all because it your rights and i know how much friendship means to you. I didnt mind all those days when you were feeling tired and wanna have a good rest. And i am sorry for not be able to understand you. And being the worst thing you ever had in your life.
I just wanna put it to an end here. If you were thinking what you were doing this for our future and thought that i didnt understand that, i just want you to know. that, i understand. I know you want to give me a comfortable life in the future. But i hope you should understand that, you should give some of your time for me as well. If you think that you were the only one who is struggling for our future, i am doing the same thing as well.
And i just wanna put this to an end. And i do hope one day you'll lower you ego and come to your realisation whatever that i did for you. I know what i did is never enough for you. Theres a lot of things i wanna say but it will make it harder for me. Hope you'll get what you want in your life. I hope you'll find someone that will always be there for you and makes you feel happy every second of your life. I hope you'll have a wonderful life ahead. and if you ever happen to read this. I am so thankful that you came across in my life. Though it was short, but it gives me a valuable lesson. Thanks for making me stronger and harder and independent woman.
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