I was diagnosed having a depression few days ago. After the result came out, I had a break down. Tetiba terasa like how does it feel to be normal people? Is it fun? Am i weird enough to have this kind of minds and feelings? It must be great isnt it if you dont have things that annoy you?
It sucks, bila rasa sedih but you dont know why. Bila rasa nak marah with everything tanpa sebab and people keep questioning you why are you behaving like this? What is wrong with you? There'll be time that i am so happy that i can laugh so hard. There'll be time i feel like i wanna stay on my bed crying.
It's so hard. It's even harder when you dont know why. And it hits me so hard when someone say "Kita kan ada agama, kenapa nak fikir bukan bukan?" Bukan aku tak solat, bukan aku tak jaga hubungan dengan Allah. It's just that, the feeling, the thoughts tu come and go. And i hate it even more when someone makes me feel completely stupid and tear me down instead of being supportive. You better get stay out of the line if you arent helping me.
It sucks, bila rasa sedih but you dont know why. Bila rasa nak marah with everything tanpa sebab and people keep questioning you why are you behaving like this? What is wrong with you? There'll be time that i am so happy that i can laugh so hard. There'll be time i feel like i wanna stay on my bed crying.
It's so hard. It's even harder when you dont know why. And it hits me so hard when someone say "Kita kan ada agama, kenapa nak fikir bukan bukan?" Bukan aku tak solat, bukan aku tak jaga hubungan dengan Allah. It's just that, the feeling, the thoughts tu come and go. And i hate it even more when someone makes me feel completely stupid and tear me down instead of being supportive. You better get stay out of the line if you arent helping me.
Stay strong dearself
No girl, it's fine. Ignore bila orang cakap sebab tak solat banyak ke apa or kurang iman, because even those who do can have depression too. It's hard when people talk about you, saying that you might be overreacting or you just want attention or you're just making an excuse. But let them be because they don't know and they don't understand where you're at. So just fight your own battle and ignore the ones that don't understand or don't want to understand.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel weird about it. Embrace it, learn about it and yourself and try your best to overcome it. It might take some time but you can do it. God won't put you in a position that you can't handle. Stay strong Sheda :) xx
thank you so much alya for your words. It is indeed what i wanna hear from someone :') I love you!!
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