Monday, 5 December 2016

to whoever once told me that they will be there for me but when i need them, they never show up.

thanks for make me realize that i should live on my own. when i felt that world crashed me down, when i thought society was so cruel and when i think that at least there will be someone to be there for me but actually they wont be anyone but me.

this past few weeks, so many things come and go. and i had mixed feelings and emotions and i wish i could stop from this emotions from consuming me. i cried, a lot. it's not because i just need some sympathy but it makes me realize that i have no one in my life. The one i can open up telling everything or at least someone who wouldnt mind spare some time to talk to me or actually listen about my feelings.

"You cant expect everyone has time for you" (friend, 2016)

and it hurts me more because whenever i told someone i wanna see a therapist, they'll be like. 

"Hey whats wrong? It's normal whatever happens in you happens in some other people also"
"You're not crazy to see a therapist"
"Laaa you dont need to worry laa. You'll be okay"

and i am so tired to hear all this stuffs. you dont know what im facing. even if you do, youre different from me and if you ask me to be like you, how? i mean how can i change from this kind of attitude and habit to be someone like you. how? all the things happen to me might me normal for you. but not for me. We are different. yes, i am weak. thats why im trying to build myself. probably this is the weakest part of me. i am sure, i will grow and be stronger. 

sometimes, talking to stranger feels nicer than talking to someone who you already knew.


  1. If you want to go see a counselor or something, just go. You'll learn new things and you get to get things off of your chest. Don't let people stop you from wanting to get some proper self care xx

    1. thank you alya! it's been awhile since last time we met. Hope to see ya around!

  2. It makes me feel sad to see you like this. be strong. I update ur blog consistently even though I may be stranger to you now. We met once and never meet again until now. How I wish I have guts to see you personally. But u r beyond my league. Just to let u know that, the world needs someone like u. Dont change urself just because other people opinion told you so. I'm always here. Count your blessing, trust me you're one of the most luckiest people in this world. Take care :)

    1. Hahaha thank you so much for always reading my blog and all. And take care as well :)